JJ - Ecstasy

This is the first time I actually feel lonely since I've reach the DCN (the Dreadful City of Niort). I'm all alone, and I've been pointlessly roaming around my flat for the last three hours. I love my job, and seem to have a hard time to just let go, in the evening, and drive home where nothing and noone is waiting for me. The more it goes, the more time I spend at work, and the less time I spend home. And when I'm home, most of my time is spent sleeping or aimlessly browsing the internet.

It's not 10pm and I'm already in bed. My laptop is with me, playing those sweet sweet melancholic songs that make me feel this way. Wasn't nearly the same yesterday evening, when I did the dishes while bouncing on some hard core electro (Vitalic, The Ampliphetes...).

There is this nerd at work, he's caustic, and fun, and I'm glad when he's around, because he helps me blow some steam (in the most annoying way, but still). I can't remember how we got into that talk about nightgowns, but I told him what I wore in bed and he went "oh, but that's not sexy at all!" It isn't, I agree, but I like my comfort while sleeping. Alone. And that's when it hit me. I sleep alone. I dine alone. I work (most of the time) alone. I drive alone. I drink alone. I dance alone. I run alone. I shower alone... And I'm sick of it.

But there ain't nothing I can do. Nothing I'm desperate enough to be willing to do.